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"Hey, I've operated on this guy before—there are my initials."
Tags:operation, operations, operating, operating room, operating rooms, medical procedure, medical procedures, sign, signs, signing, signature, signatures, autograph, autographs, autographing, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, calling card, calling cards, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, uncaring, hospital, hospitals, hospitalized
Tags:bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news, flying monkey, flying monkeys, wicked witch, witch, witches, famous phrase, famous phrases, dead, bereaved, bereavement, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, hospital, hospitals, hospitalise, hospitalised, hospitalize, hospitalized, hospitalization, hospitalisation, bad news, sad, sadness, messenger, messengers
"You've really been with us quite a while, haven't you, Hepburn?"
Tags:hospital, hospital stay, hospital stays, long stay, long stays, hospitalized, hospitalization, hospitalize, hospitalizing, in hospital, sympathy, flower, flowers, flower arrangement, flower arrangements, flower arranger, flower arrangers, ill, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, unknown illness, unknown illnesses, undiagnosed, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments
"Well, thank heavens I can still laugh about it!"
Tags:laugh, laughs, laughing, lauhgter, best medicine, tragedy, tragedies, positive attitude, positive attitudes, good attitude, good attitudes, hospital, hospitals, hospitalized, hopitalization, hospital stay, hospital stays, depressing, depression, cry, cries, crying, sob, sobs, sobbing, silver lining, silver linings, positive person, positive people, optimist, optimists, optimism
"Of course, it's a highly experimental procedure, but we're trying out new techniques from other disciplines all the time."
Tags:procedure, procedures, medical procedure, medical procedures, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, experiment, experiments, experimental, medication, medications, gas, gasoline, petrol, pump, pumps, fill her up, fill 'er up, service station, service stations, petrol station, petrol stations, trial, trials, trial clinic, trial clinics, technique, techniques, new technique, new techniques, hospital bed, hospital beds, hospitalized, hospitalization
Tags:trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, the donald, quarantine one, vehicle, vehicles, quarantine, quarantines, quarantining, quarantined, infected, infecting, infect, infects, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnosed, presidential election, presidential campaign, stunt, stunts, political stunt, hospitalise, hospitalised, hospitalize, hospitalized, us politics, covid-19, covid 19, corona, coronavirus, covid, pandemic
'I would have been here sooner if not for a wonderful caring nurse in the hospital.'
"I'm A Gigantic Starfish Endowed With The Gift Of Speech, Not A Miracle Worker."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, visitor, visitors, health, health care, healthcare, balloon, balloons, get well soon, hospitalised, hospitalized, appreciative, appreciation, grateful, greeting card, greeting cards, thankful, well-wisher, well-wishers, well-wishes
"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."
Tags:married, marriage, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, ill, illness, sick, sickness, unwell, visiting, visit, visits, hospital, hospitals, visiting hours, love, romance, romantic, old age, old people, old, aging, ageing, hospitalized, nurse, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, medical, medicine
'...but besides this, how are you doing?'
'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'
"I tell you guys you're making a horrible mistake!"
Tags:mummy, mummies, curse, curses, cursing, hospital, hospital bed, hospital beds, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, accidental, tomb, tombs, crypt, crypts, bandage, bandages, bandaged, hospital, hospitals, hospitalized, hospitalization, crypt, crypts, grave robber, grave robbers, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeologist, archeologists, archeology
A raccoon is hooked up to a trashcan IV.
"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."
Tags:patient, patients, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, medical student, medical students, med student, med students, rounds, doing rounds, bored, boring, short attention span, short attention spans, attention span, attention spans, rare disease, rare diseases, medical journal, medical journals, bedside manner, illness, illnesses, rare illness, rare illnesses, lose interest, losing interest, hospitalized, hospitalization, hospitalize, in hospital
"It would be sad if he wasn't so damned cute."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, hospitalized, hospitalised, doctor, doctors, nurse, grim reaper, grim, reaper, grim reapers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, patient, patients, child, cute, medical, medical center, medical centre, pediatrics, paediatrics, death, dying, medicine, treatment, medical treatment, angel of death, black humor, black humour, dark humour, dark humor, pale rider, thanatos
'Could I have a doggie bag?'
"The amputation went well Mr Jones, but we have one slight hiccup."
Tags:amputations, leg, legs, surgery, surgery, error, surgical, errors, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, accidental, missing leg, missing legs, amputees, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, hospitalization, hospitalized, in hospital, operation, operations, bad news, nurse, bed ward, bed wards, never event, never events
'I'm sure you didn't mean it, son, but in the future step over the sidewalk cracks.'
"That which doesn't kill you might give you stomach trouble."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, hospital stay, hospital food, hospital meal, hospital meals, bad food, bad meal, meal, meals, inedible, unappetizing, unappetising, patient, patients, sick, sickness, ill, illness, stomach problem, stomach problems, stomach trouble, stomach troubles, tummy problem, stomach issues, tummy troubles, food poisoning, die, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, cliche, cliches, hospitalized
'You're doing great! In a few days, I think you'll be strong enough to eat hospital food!'
'What are YOU doing here?'
Translation into non-celebrities
Tags:rehab, rehabilitation, hospitalized for exhaustion, re-examining priorities, re-examine priorities, hospitalised, hospitalized, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity culture, celeb, celebs, worlds apart, different lives, different experiences, non-celebrity, non-celebrities, translation, translate, translates
"Friend or enema?"