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"Have your pillows been plumped this morning?"
"He was doing well at first, but then he started drifting in and out of health coverage."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, visitor, visitors, bedridden, bad condition, bad news, death, dying, health insurance, bill, bills, money, medical bill, medical bills, medical costs, cost, costs, expenses, expensive, medical billing, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare, drifting in and out, health coverage
"We'll be performing the operation using original instruments."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, bedridden, performing, operating, medical instrument, medical instruments, innovation, innovations, innovative, creative, experiment, experiments, experimental, original instrument, original instruments, malpractice, medical malpractice, back to the past, past, history, historical, medical procedure, medical procedures, original
"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, health check, health checks, symptom, symptoms, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bedside manner, bad doctor, bad doctors, bad bedside manner, inappropriate comment, inappropriate comments, sound, sounds, laugh, laughter, laughing, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"Good heavens! Who hooked you up? This one is cable TV!"
Tags:television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, television cable, television cables, t.v. cable, t.v. cables, tv cable, tv cables, cable television, cable tv, cable t.v., hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, nurses, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, iv, ivs, iv drip, iv drips, i.v., i.v.s, i.v. drip, i.v. drips, intravenous drip, intravenous drips, intravenous therapy, cable, cables, wire, wires, hooked up, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, many cables, many wires, modern life, modern medicine
"I've forgotten what I want to be remembered for."
"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."
"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bedridden, serious, drug, drugs, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, medical, drug abuse, medicine abuse, prescription abuse, pharmaceutical abuse, addiction, addict, addicts, alleviate, enough, fun, high, getting high, painkiller, painkillers, pain
'The good news is that we can cure you. The bad news is the cure is worse than the disease.'
"Under our holistic approach, Mr. Wyndot, we not only treat your symptoms, we also treat your dog."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bedridden, bed-ridden, holistic, holistic medicine, alternative medicine, symptom, symptoms, treat, treating, treatment, treatments, cure, curing, sick, sickness, ill, illness, holistic approach, holistic approaches, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners
"We've just been given the Christmas menu....Do you want your beans on toast with festive mint sauce?"
"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."
Tags:doctor, doctors, treatment, injury, injured, hospital, hospitals, bed, cast, body cast, casts, immobile, paralyzed, bedridden, tickle, tickling, tickles, tickled, professional, professionals, medicine, medical, trauma, traumatic, bandages, bandage, arms up, serious, inappropriate, unprofessional, medicines, treat, treats, explain, explaining, distract, distracted, distracting, helpless, helplessness, tickle, tickles, ticklish, distraction, distractions, preoccupied, bedside manner
'He's over the flu, but he hasn't recuperated from the lack of pity.'
"The sarcasm on these get-well cards can't do you any good."
"He should be up and complaining in no time."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, visitor, visitors, bedridden, cured, almost better, recovery, recoveries, recovering, up and about, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, complain, complaint, complaints, complaining, good news, bad news, bad mood, crotchety, grumpy, grouchy, health scare, health scares
"Well, we removed the growth, but the operation has left you paralyzed from the neck down."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, x-ray, x-rays, hand, hands, bedridden, bed-ridden, toy, toys, puppet, puppets, puppetry, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, growth, growths, paralyzed, paralysed, paralysis, dark humor, dark humour
'There's nothing more we can do...He'll always be a vegetable.'
"He said he makes housecalls, and he'll be here as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith."
"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"
This looks like a job for...Super absorbency!"
"Hopefully he'll be up by morning - I gave him a laxative!"
'He's completely exhausted. Next time you're shopping for shoes, leave your husband at home.'
'He's playing air violin. Studies show it reduces compassion fatigue.'
"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"
'Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win one for 'the gupper'.'