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"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"
'My wife is the only person I know who gets fan mail from crash-test dummies.'
Dear Kevin Bacon, That's not how it works. Sincerely, UK viewers.
'You'd better have a little talk with him -- he wrote a fan letter to Lady Godiva.'
'It's been forty years, Wendell -- Annette Funicello is NOT going to answer your letter!'
'Of course he answered you with a form letter -- you expect rock stars to know how to write?'
'May I just take this opportunity to express to you how much I appreciate your work' fly to cow,
Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail
"His fan mail keeps ten secretaries busy. Writing it!"