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How Grandma Sees the Remote
"The other thing I love about drinking is that you can't do it online."
"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."
"After all, what is 'yo'? Only 'oy' backward."
Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment
"Damn change and newfangled ideas...if mindless back breaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for ME!"
"Well, I think it takes a lot away from the Old World charm!"
"Quick! Take a selfie of yourself. You've got spinach in your teeth!"
Computer-controlled heating system.
"Hmm...Baldo forgot his cell phone. Why do I pay for things I don't understand?"
'Who are you calling 'oldtimer', sonny?!'