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The competition's customer vs our customer.
It's ALWAYS important to listen no matter HOW someone wants to communicate...And this is my dance of the third quarter improved productivity figures.
"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"
Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!
It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.
"I know I'm suppose to be a customer but what kind of customer...am I tortured, am I HAPPY? What's my MOTIVATION?"
"It's from your 'optimise your time' trainer...he's double booked and won't be coming"
Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work... We'll need LOTS more staff... And personnel will need extra support with recruitment.
Meeting the Masai didn't improve his management skills quite as much as we'd have liked...but on a positive note he thinks he could now take down a wildebeest at 200 yards with his pool cue.
'The company is doing much better since we outsourced our ethics division to tribal warlords.'
'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'
Could you tell them I'll call back as soon as I've dealt with this ravenous Buggblaster from the planet SNARG!
These are the people who'll be line managing you.
Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!
Personally I'm all in favour of extra layers of expensive bureaucracy!
There, that should be better... Government makes (another) attempt to reduce bureaucracy for GPs.
Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...
So we'll be reducing the team by 50 and moving the base to the old gardening shed...right next item, improving staff moral!
'Unfortunately your managers inner child is called Dwayne!'