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"It's pro-active, Stan. I'm leaving you before you become a midlife male sleazeball creep."
"Look, I've tried quiet diplomacy to gain my freedom, but it just hasn't worked."
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divorce, relationships, diplomacy, walk out, walks out, walking out, divorces, divorcing, freedom, gain your freedom, gaining your freedom, diplomatic solution, diplomatic solutions, irreconcilable difference, irreconcilable differences, breakup, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, mankoff"I feel like Doris is divorcing me for all the wrong reasons."
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divorce, divorces, divorcing, walk out, walks out, walking out, split up, splitting up, wrong reason, wrong reasons, second-guess, second-guesses, second-guessing, mansplain, mansplains, mansplaining, divorce court, reason, reasons, cheater, cheaters, adulterer, adulterers, ex--husband, ex-husbands, ex-wife, ex-wives'You never had it so good! Just wait! You'll come crawling back to me!'
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evolution, evolve, evolving, evolved, evolves, fish, fished, fishes, crawl, crawling, crawled, crawls, mammal, mammals, break up, breaking up, broke up, break ups, broken up, split up, splitting up, divorce, walking out, walk out, walked out, walks out, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys"Your mother was young and restless and knew what she wanted. She wanted out."
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divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorcee, divorcees, young and restless, leave, leaves, leaving, walk out, walks out, walking out, parent, parents, father, fathers, dad, dads, mother, mother, mom, moms, mum, mums, rich man, rich men, rich person, rich people, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, worry, worries, worrying"So soon? But we've barely scratched the surface of our discontent."
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discontent, surface, marital fight, marital fights, scratched the surface, leaving home, relationships, shakespeare, literary, william shakespeare, discontent, fight, fights, argument, arguments, row, rows, spouse, spouses, walk out, walks out, walking out, wife, wives, husband, husbands, spat, spats, divorce, divorces, move out, moves out, moving out, last straw, richard iii, disagreement, disagreements, mankoffA businessman gives a beggar his briefcase.
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executives, money, psychology, economy, charity, businessmen, panhandle, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, beg, begs, begging, briefcase, briefcases, white collar, white collar worker, white collar workers, quit, quits, quitting, walk out, walks out, walking out, happiness, key to happiness, key to success, personal success, mankoff"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."
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divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorced, separation, separations, walk out, walks out, walking out, leave, leaves, leaving, husband, husbands, wife, wives, luggage, baggage, suitcase, suitcases, style, stylish, picky, choosy, fashionista, fashionistas, attractive, move out, moves out, moving out, split up, splits up, splitting up, breakup, breakups, break-up, breaks up, breaking up"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"
"You can't leave, Alice - you're the only thing keeping me from quitting my job, taking up golf, and living off the equity in the house."
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wife, wives, divorce, divorces, divorcing, husband, husbands, walk out, walks out, walking out, equity, retire, retires, retiring, retirement, job, jobs, quit, quits, quitting, threat, threats, threaten, threatens, threatening, leave, leaves, leaving, split up, splitting up, break up, breaks up, breaking up, empty threat, empty threats, single, newly single, single life"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."
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ring, rings, ring on the table, rings on the table, martini, martinis, beer, beers, walk out, walks out, walking out, break up, break ups, nasty breakup, nasty breakups, breakup, breakups, splitting up, splits up, one that got away, the one that got away, engagement, engagements, fiancee, fiancees, leaves you, left you, engagement ring, engagement rings"You had me at goodbye."
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marriage, marriage problems, married, divorce, divorces, goodbye, leave, leaving, argument, arguments, arguing, distracted, distraction, distract, uninterested, ignore, ignoring, ignorant, engrossed, engross, preoccupy, preoccupied, goodbye, goodbyes, you had me at hello, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, walk out, walks out, walking out, bad relationship, toxic relationship, bad marriage"I said it was Schubert, he said it was Schumann, I turned out to be right, he felt threatened, and I haven't seen him since."
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mansplain, mansplains, mansplains, know-it-all, know-it-alls, schubert, composer, composers, threaten, threatened, threatening, walk out, walks out, walking out, smart woman, smart women, threatened, threatening, toxic masculinity, threat, threats, feminist, feminists, feminism, strong woman, strong women, smart woman, smart women, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, split up, splits up, splitting up, bad date, bad dates, single life"Damn it, Maureen! You just don't break up a winning combination!"
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winning combination, winning combinations, combination, combinations, combo, combos, walk out, walks out, walking out, lucky horseshoe, lucky horseshoes, loser, losers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, couple, couples, toxic relationship, toxic relationships, hope, hopes, aspiration, aspirations'I don't like this predictive text.'
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predictive text, predictive texts, prediction, predictions, predict, predicts, predicting, clairvoyance, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, psychic, psychics, text, texts, texting, message, messages, messaging, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, cell phone, cell phones, divorce, divorces, dump, dumps, dumped, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, spouse, spouses, wife, walk out, walks out, walking out, bad news"He just walked out - right in the middle of our act."
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magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, saw in half, saws in half, sawing in half, divorce, divorces, divorcing, split up, splits up, splitting up, cut in two, magician's assistant, magicians assistant, magician's assistants, magicians assistants, walk out, walks out, walking out, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, leave hanging, left hanging, lack of closure"I'm going out for a loaf of bread, dear-never to return."
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walk out, walks out, walking out, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, tip your hand, tipping your hand, giveaway, giveaways, unsurprising, unexpected, divorce, divorces, leave, leaves, leaving, couple, couples, married couple, married couples, errand, errands, never to return, grocery, groceries, grocery store, leave forever"When we were together, he was always singing 'It Had to Be You.' Then, suddenly, he switched to 'I Gotta Be Me,' and I haven't seen him since."
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divorce, divorces, romantic, romantic song, romantic songs, our song, our songs, couple, couples, harbinger, harbingers, walk out, walks out, walking out, early warning, early warnings, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, lifestyle changes, husband, husbands, wife, wives, selfish, selfishness, selfish lifestyle, selfish lifestyles, marriage counselor, marriage counselors, marriage counsellor, marriage counsellors, marriage counselling, marriage counseling, couples counselor, couples counsellor"There's nothing wrong with you, Steve - it's just you're the incumbent."
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wife, leaving, home, husband, fight, marital, problems, argument, deserting, suitcases, reasons, explanations, divorce, divorces, divorcing, marital problem, marital problems, walk out, walks out, walking out, split up, splits up, splitting up, breakup, breakups, breaking up, it's not you, incumbent, incumbents, lame duck, lame ducks, mankoff"Well, so long, Bert."
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problems, divorce, travel, marriage, infidelity, infidelities, conquest, conquests, sleep around, sleeps around, sleeping around, bedpost notch, bedpost notches, marriage problem, marriage problems, bon voyage, split up, splits up, splitting up, open relationship, open relationships, walk out, walks out, walking out, goodbye, goodbyes, mankoff"But you can't leave me—your name is Bride of Frankenstein."
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walk out, walks out, walking out, leave, leaves, leaving, divorce, divorces, divorcing, horror, horror movie, horror movies, horror film, horror films, classic, monster movie, monster movies, monster, monsters, frankenstein, bride, wife, wives, denial, in denial, jilted husband, identity, identity crisis