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"I'm being sued, Daddy...Mr. Jenkins down the street claims his obesity is due to the cookies I sold him when I was a little girl!"
"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"
"When my parent were kids, they made up alibis. I just carry disclaimers."
"Before my client enters your property we'll need you to sign this legal disclaimer."
"Wait a minute. We can't subpoena these guys. It'd be suborning perjury."