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"I hope he washed his hands."
"And that's why we don't have nice things."
"Look Mommy, hat!"
A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.
"Happy Mother's Day! I spelled out your name in toast!"
"I've heard of 'empty nest syndrome'...but I don't think my nest will ever be empty. It's going to take the rest of my life to clean it out."
'Jesus! Look at this mess! Were you born in a ba...oh, forget it.'