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'Attendance is always down the week after Father's Day. They all get golf balls.'
"Instead of just doing time, I decided it could be quality time."
'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'
Tags:father, fatherhood, fathers, fatherhoods, parenting, family resemblance, family resemblances, parenting, hereditary, got your nose, games, playing games, nose, mother, features, facial features, baby, husband, wife, child, proud, pride, big nose, baby, babies, baby games, peek-a-boo, got-your-nose
7 Dwarves of Fatherhood
'So all six of your kids got you the same thing for Father's day?'
"If I have a son, I'm going to name him 59379 Jr."
Tags:incarceration, incarcerations, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, crimes, criminal, criminals, incarcerated, prison sentence, jail sentence, gaol, gaols, fatherhood, fatherhoods, prison number, prison numbers, father, fathers, dad, dads, parent, parents, proud parent, proud parents, baby name, baby names, son, sons, life sentence, life sentences
'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'
'Which is yours??'
'You like that? Okay, ONE MORE TIME! The wheels on the bus go round and round!...'
'You aren't very good with children, are you Dad?'
"I miss the Augean stables."
Tags:hercules, heracles, hero, heroes, greek myth, greek myths, greek legend, greek legends, ancient greece, classics, classicist, classicists, eurystheus, labours of heracles, labours of hercules, labors of heracles, labors of hercules, labour, peisander, zeus, immortal, father, fatherhood, baby, mother, family, responsibility, fatherhoods, fathers, dad, dads, nappy, nappies
"Does no one here have an actual child?"
Tags:work experience, work experiences, pet, pets, parenthood, parent, parents, fatherhood, fatherhoods, father, fathers, dad, dads, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, motherhood, parenting, bring your child to work day, bring your kid to work, kid, kids, child, family life, office job, office jobs, office worker, office workers
"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."
"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."
Tags:fatherhood, fatherhoods, father, fathers, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, value, values, moral, morals, morality, virtue, virtues, hard work, discipline, kid, kids, childrearing, child-rearing, child raising, child-raising, moral compass, role model, role models, moral compasses
'Tell my wife I can't speak to her right now. However, she can send me a fax detailing the info on whether she had a boy or a girl.'
'I need some tech support here!'
"He looks just like his Dad, still he'll grow out of it."
Tags:fatherhood, fatherhoods, dad, dads, family resemblance, family resemblances, family life, baby, babies, childhood, childhoods, father, fathers, parent, parents, parenthood, family-life, kid, kids, proud parent, proud parents, proud father, proud fathers, proud mother, proud mothers, phrase, phrases
'If I had done that you would have put me outdoors.'
'I can't seem to connect with my son... He keeps ducking.'
A Stay at Home Dad on the First Day of School.
'My wife and I decided we didn't want children.'
'Hey, you're growing fast alright: Your beak capacity has reached three litres!'
'I've two wonderful kids and 2 out of 5 isn't bad. . .'
'You're running away from home? Great! -- now I can subscribe to the Playboy Channel!'
"The kids are fine."