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'Well I could help with 'A bit of filing and general help around the office' or you MIGHT like to benefit from my 25 years experience in software development and capital infrastructure investment experience.'
"Weltschmerz? Is that like the flu?"
Tags:weltschmerz, depressed, depression, depressive, depressives, mental health, mental health issue, mental health issues, mental health disorder, mental health disorders, office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, insensitive, insensitivity, executive, executives, business executive, business executive, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, author, authors, german author, german authors, stress, stressed out, stressful, stressing, misdiagnose, misdiagnosis, assume, assumption, assumptions, making assumptions
The Lost Contact Lenses of the Gods
Tags:contact lens, contact lenses, assume, assumption, assumptions, discover, discoveries, new discoveries, religions, ancient artefact, ancient artefacts, historian, historians, ancient monument, ancient monuments, modern life, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, sci-fi, sci fi, science fiction
'Strange -- I always thought that thunder sounded like the angels were bowling.'
Tags:storm, storms, stormy, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, cloud, clouds, vacuum, vacuums, vacuuming, vacuumed, hoover, hoovers, hoovered, hoovering, thunder, thunders, boom, booms, booming, boomed, wrong, assume, assumes, assumed, assuming, assumption, assumptions, afterlife, bowling, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"
Tags:service man, service men, military service, veteran, veterans, decorated veteran, decorated veterans, war veteran, war veterans, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, medal, medals, decoration, decorations, uniform, uniforms, military man, military men, presumption, presumptions, introduction, introductions, cocktail party, cocktail parties, mankoff
"I think I can speak for an entire generation when I say I'm either in my thirties or in my forties."
Tags:generation, generations, generation x, generation y, millennial, millennials, politician, politicians, political speech, political speeches, speak for a generation, speaking for a generation, generalization, generalizing, generalisation, generalising, speech, speeches, speechwriter, speechwriters, stump speech, stump speeches, hedge your bets, hedging your bets, play it safe, playing it safe, lowest common denominator, risk, risks, risky, safe assumption, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'
Tags:pirate, pirates, music, musics, download, downloads, downloading, downloaded, downloader, downloaders, mp3, mp3s, mp3 player, mp3 players, music player, music players, assume, assumes, assuming, assumed, assumption, assumptions, confuse, confused, confusing, confusion, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
My First Visit to the Laundromat
Tags:launderette, launderettes, laundromat, laundromats, automated, automation, automatic, tumble dryer, tumble dryers, laundry machine, laundry machines, ignorant, ignorance, stupid, stupidity, washing machine, washing machines, modern times, modern life, modern attitudes, lazy, laziness, dependant, dependence, machine dependence, assume, assumption, modern technology
"I don't have a single complaint about my treatment by the media."
Tags:treatment, treatments, media bias, media biases, white male, white males, white man, white men, bigot, bigots, bigotry, bigoted, perspective, perspectives, hegemony, hegemonic, mainstream media, unfair, fair, fairness, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining, newspaper, newspapers, journalist, journalists, journalism, unfair treatment, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"
Tags:eating out, dining out, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, hipster, hipsters, millennial, millennials, organic, organic food, pesticide, pesticides, antibiotics, bad customer, bad customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, fussy eater, fussy eaters, modern life, modern attitudes, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, assume, assuming, assumption, assumptions, making assumption
"Oh, and Botticelli. Botticelli would probably have been a great filmmaker."
Tags:botticelli, sandro botticelli, art history, art historian, art historians, adapt, adapts, adaptation, adaptations, producer, producers, hollywood, film, filmmaker, filmmakers, filmmaking, movie business, movie businesses, film industry, movie industry, speculate, speculates, speculating, speculation, baseless, unfounded, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"Okay, okay...so the weatherman was right for once."
Tags:rain, rains, rainstorm, rainstorms, storm, storms, weatherman, weathermen, weather man, weather men, prediction, predictions, forecast, forecasts, always wrong, incorrect, preparation, preparations, prepare, prepares, preparing, umbrella, umbrellas, brolly, brollies, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"Flowers? That's so arrogant!"
Tags:arrogant, arrogance, presumptuous, presumptuousness, feminist, feminists, feminism, militant, militants, gift, gifts, present, presents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, gender stereotype, gender stereotypes, women's lib, women's liberation, bouquet, bouquets, date, dates, dating, modern life, modern times, valentine, valentines, valentine's day, valentines day
"I guess I just assumed when you travelled you wouldn't be in costume."
Tags:clown, clowns, entertainer, entertainers, costume, flying, airplane, passengers, travel, costume, aeroplane, travel, travelling, airplanes, aeroplane, tourists, tourist, show, travelling circus, travelling show, travelling shows, travelling circuses, clown, passenger, in costume, act, dressed up, assume, assumption, dress-up, companion, partner
'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'
"My wife's in the bedroom."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, married life, wife, wives, husband, husbands, old married couple, tired, sick of, exasperated, diversion, divert, diverting, distract, distracted, distracting, distracts, assume, assumes, assumption, assumptions, rather you than me, rather her than me, rather him than me
"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"
Tags:judge, judges, judicial philosophy, judicial philosophies, guilty, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, guilt, verdict, verdicts, constitution, constitutional right, trial, trials, fair trial, fair trials, bias, biased, innocent, innocence, assumption of innocence, pre-judge, pre-judges, pre-judging, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements
Thank You God
Tags:desert, thirst, water, dehydrated, water, water biscuit, disappointment, disappoint, disappoints, mislead, misleading, misled, false hope, false hopes, deserts, thirsty, water cracker, water crackers, h20, misread, misreading, misreads, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, false assumption, false assumptions, fine print, reading the fine print
"No, I'm not Swiss. Just a bad accident."
Tags:cheese, cheeses, swiss, swiss cheese, swiss cheeses, hole, holes, cheddar, cheddar cheese, cheddar cheeses, accident, accidents, bad accident, bad accidents, drill, drills, drilling, home repair, home repairs, do it yourself, repair, repairs, repairing, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, first glance, first glances, disabled
'I made the mistake of thinking the manager of a Christian bookstore wouldn't have a gun.'
"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."
Tags:preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, evangelical, evangelicals, church, mass, congregation, congregations, speak in tongues, speaking in tongues, reverend, reverends, services, church service, alabama, alabama accent, alabama accents, southern accent, southern accents, hard-to-understand, difficult to understand, accent, accents, strong accent, strong accents, heavy accent, heavy accents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
"Years ago, there was only one Santa Claus. Now because of genetic engineering, there can be lots of them."
Tags:christmas, genetic engineering, cloning, street scenes, science, medical, trends, seasons, characters, holidays, clone, clones, santa, santa claus, father christmas, genetic engineer, genetic engineers, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, modern times, modern life, generation z, charity, charities
"Butcher paper! I thought this was just a check up."
I Thought He Was Dead
A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.
Tags:generation, generations, generation gap, generation gaps, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, donate, donates, donation, donations, diaper, diapers, nappy, nappies, sympathy, sympathetic, sympathetic party, sympathetic parties, empathy, empathetic, empathetic party, empathetic parties, awkward, awkwardness, awkward situation, awkward situations, presumptuous, presume, presumes, presumptuousness, incontinent, incontinence, assume, assumes, assumption