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Deeds, misdeeds, feasance, malfeasance, combobulation, discombobulation.
'He went that way, officer!'
"As unbelievable as it may seem to you today, this court was once a puppy, too."
'While you're serving time, Bowman, I'll be blaming my misdeeds on 'Harkins'.'
'Can I have a dollar to not smash your window?'