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"What do you mean, 'When did I have the time to have an affair??!' I MADE the time!"
Tags:affair, affairs, politician, politicians, scandal, scandals, press conference, press conferences, adulterer, adulterers, infidelity, unfaithfulness, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, bad husband, bad husbands, spouse, spouses, president, presidents, presidential, white house, priority, priorities, prioritize, prioritizes, prioritizing, alpha, alpha males, sleaze, sleazy, sleazebag, sleazebags, scumbag, scumbags
Lousy parents... inadequate husband... sad little doggie...
Tags:family, families, unhappy family, unhappy families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, son, sons, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, dad, dads, father, fathers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, bad husband, bad husbands, inadequate husband, inadequate husbands, lousy parents, lousy parent, rubbish parents, bad parents, dog, doggie, doggies, family argument, family arguments, family hierarchy
"Gays and lesbians aren't a threat to the sanctity of my marriage. It's all the straight women who sleep with my husband."
'You're right... I just don't get it. And I recall a time, not so very long ago, when you loved that about me!'
"Don't think of it as divorce, Henry. Think of it as freedom...the next time you cheat on me with your secretary, it won't be cheating anymore."
"You know, it would be nice if, every once in a while, I got credit for hearing the first part of almost everything you say."
Tags:marriage, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationships, husband, husbands, bad husband, bad husbands, useless husband, useless husband, listening, good listener, good listening, bad listener, doesn't listen, gender stereotype, gender stereptypes, credit, demanding credit, argument, arguments, common arguments, stereotypical arguments
"Howard! You slept in the wrong apartment again."
Tags:love triangle, love triangles, cheat, cheater, cheaters, affair, affairs, having an affair, extra marital affair, extra marital affairs, two timer, two timers, two timing, fling, flings, unfaithfulness, bad husband, bad husbands, bad relationship, bad relationships, apartment, apartments, confuse, confused, confusion, oblivious, obliviousness, identical, mix up, mixed up, modern life, identical apartment, identical apartments
"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."
Tags:golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, golf player, golf players, playing golf, family, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, shirk, shirking, avoid, avoiding, avoidance, lazy, laziness, bad husband, bad husbands, bad father, bad fathers, gender issues, gender inequality, escape, escaping
Monument to the one who did the dishes yesterday
Tags:monument, monuments, housework, household labour, household labor, dishes, doing the dishes, sexist attitudes, sexist, sexists, lazy husband, lazy husbands, bad husband, bad husbands, unequal distribution of household labour, unequal distribution of household labor, relax, relaxing, complacent, complacency, self-satisfied, divorce, reasons for divorce, divorce him
"They've named a star cluster, and the woman across the street's bedroom, after me."
"You don't get rid of him that easy, Mrs. Jacowsky."
Tags:garbage, garbage can, garbage cans, throw out, throws out, throwing out, breakup, break-ups, break-up, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, divorce, divorces, divorcing, husband, husbands, bad husband, bad husbands, toss out, tosses out, tossing out, garbage, garbage day, neglected wife, spouse, spouses, neglected spouses
"Thank you, but I think I can manage."
Will robots ever replace man?
'No, what you have is the abdicate-responsibility-and-blame-it-on-the-genes gene.'
'I forgot the wife's birthday!'
Visiting his wife's dead mother...
'The anniversary was bad enough, but this time I forgot her NAME!'
'But I can't be the world's WORST husband that would be too much of a coincidence!'
'You can't win with him - if he isn't drunk he's sober.'
"Have I been a good husband, Audrey?"
Tags:rubbish, rubbish bin, rubbish bins, black bin, black bins, trash, trash can, trash cans, relationship, relationships, husband, husbands, bad husband, bad husbands, wife, wives, marriage, marriages, unhappy marriage, dump, dumped, dumping, rubbish husband, rubbish husbands, useless husband, useless husbands, pun, puns, play on words, wordplay, word play
"Am I a good husband?"