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"Granted, we're living longer – on the other hand, we're out of it sooner."
Tags:life, living, long life, longevity, life expectancy, age, aging, old age, getting on, getting old, quality of life, low quality of life, old men, old man, grumpy old men, grumpy old man, bar, bars, pub, pubs, out of it, retirement, retire, retired, forced retirement, dementia, alzheimers, memory issues, losing it
Bill and his pet tortoise
'I think you'll be interested in the next patient. He's ninety two years old and accompanied by his parents.'
'I'm writing you a prescription. Do you want a longer life with less quality or vice versa?'
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon
Tags:fountain of youth, bacon, bacon lover, bacon lovers, junk food, unhealthy food, healthy food, healthy foods, healthy eater, healthy eaters, long life, long lives, meat, meat eater, meat eaters, indecision, indecisive, tempt, tempts, tempting, temptations, favorite food, favorite foods, favourite food, favourite foods, processed food, processed foods, nitrate, nitrates, nitrite, nitrites
"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."
Tags:animal, animals, tortoise, old married couple, old married couples, old-married-couple, old-married-couples, giant tortoise, tortoises, giant tortoises, turtle, turtles, reptile, reptiles, old, old age, ageing, aging, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, lifespan, wife, wives, husband, husbands, long life, long-life, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps
"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, blood pressure, taking blood pressure, blood pressure reading, blood pressure readings, level, levels, relax, reading, readings, high, long life, healthy, healthy life, chance, chances, high blood pressure, life expectancy
A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.
Tags:age, obit, obits, obituary, obituaries, dead, dying, die, dies, mortality, mortal, mortals, long life, long lives, short life, short lives, compare, compares, feel your age, feeling your age, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, comparison, comparisons, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'
The More You're Awake The Longer You Live
"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."
Tags:elliptical, ellipticals, cross trainer, elliptical trainer, cross trainers, elliptical trainers, gym, gym machine, exercise machine, exercise machines, dead, death, dying, dies, died, dead, skeleton, skeletons, apocalyptical, gym trainer, gym trainers, personal trainer, personal trainers, gym, gyms, home gym, home gyms, exercise, exercising, lasts a lifetime, long life, lasted a lifetime
A beautiful life
'I eat vegetables with lots of antioxidants. That's why I'm still on the first of my nine lives.'
"My goodness, Mr. Barret, with all those vitamins and all that jogging, we thought you'd never show up!"
Tags:jog, jogs, jogging, jogger, joggers, health nut, health nuts, exercise, exercises, exercising, healthy, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles, lifestyle, lifestyles, long life, long lives, long-lived, old age, die, dies, dying, prolonging life, prolonging lives, vitamin, vitamins, st. peter, heaven's gate, pearly gates, afterlife, afterlives
'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'
The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories.
"I've survived by maintaining my energy, humor and plausible deniability."
Tags:longevity, career, careers, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., plausible, plausible deniability, corporate crime, corporate criminal, corporate criminals, deny, denies, denial, denials, secret, secrets, long life, long career, long careers, metoo, me too, #metoo, corner office, corner offices, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, fat cat, fat cats, fatcat, fatcats
'I've outlived another airline.'
'I hear 150 is the new 90.'
'No, anabolic steroids won't keep you in the workforce longer, to make up for your 401k losses.'
'Frankly I'm looking for a doctor I won't outlive and have to change to another.'
"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"