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'It's too bad they don't give a grade for courage. You'd get an 'A' for bringing this thing home.'
"These new motivational screen savers aren't doing it for me."
'Herbert, I'd like you to meet Ralph Treemont...Ralph has failed at everything he's ever tried to do.'
"My job? Well, except for its soul-shattering, spirit-crushing and integrity-annihilating aspects, I consider it a real labor of love!"