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Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.
"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."
'His vital signs are fine. That means his insurance just ran out.'
"Five thousand hours, and his vital signs are still strong."
"Your vital signs look good."
'Check this out. These sharp drops in his vital signs coincide with visits from his inlaws.'
"His vital signs are better, but his sales have really dropped off."
'Well, Mr Hughes, all evidence to the contrary, I'd say your possum here was just putting it on.'
Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'